Of course nowadays we know that sexual intercourse is not going to make most women orgasm because it doesn’t stimulate the clitoris, and clitoral stimulation is how most women get off during sex. Read Naomi Wolf on the issue of good physiology and orgasm.
But what is the difference in terms of emotional maturity or sexual maturity between clitoral stimulation to orgasm and vaginal stimulation to orgasm? (A very Freudian idea, yes?)
While it is true that some women can come through stimulation of the vagina alone, they are very much in a minority. Current thinking is that women who can reach orgasm during intercourse are a small minority, between 10 and 15% at most. More importantly, it seems many if not all of these women are in fact reaching orgasm because somehow their clitoris is receiving stimulation during sexual intercourse, during lovemaking.
And it turns out on further investigation that these women mostly have a clitoris located much nearer to the vaginal opening than the “average” woman does. Apparently if your clitoris is located more than 2.5 cm from the vaginal opening – well, no orgasm during intercourse for you…. (assuming, of course, you are in fact a woman).
This theory goes on to suggest it’s the movements of the man’s body, or the combined movement of the male and female body together, which makes the woman come. In other words, the closer a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the more chance that woman has of receiving the kind of stimulation during intercourse which will make her come, or bring her off.
All of which suggests there really isn’t much difference between clitoral orgasm and vaginal orgasm.
They’re probably just variations of the same thing. But I will say that some women do seem to need to be emotionally open before they fully feel the pleasurable sensations of sexual intercourse in the vagina. This is another topic, and we’ll cover it somewhere else on this blog.
Bringing A Woman Off With The G Spot
We know some women have an intense orgasm when they are “made to come” through stimulation of the G spot.
Sometimes this is an adjunct to clitoral stimulation with a tongue or finger pleasuring a woman’s clitoris, where a man inserts his finger inside a woman while he is pleasuring her, and she experiences a particularly intense orgasm. Is this a separate and different thing to the “clitoral orgasm”? Is it, indeed, a vaginal orgasm?
Who knows? It turns out that the clitoris extends around and down on both sides of the vagina, which means stimulation of the inside of the vagina can also stimulate parts of the clitoral body. But I think the real question is this: “Does it even matter?”
Surely what matters most is that a man can make a woman come, or give her an orgasm, in the way that feels best for her, that she is pleasured in a way which is fulfilling and satisfying to her, and that she has no expectations of needing to have a G spot orgasm, squirting or gushing put onto her by her man. (Or indeed his expectations that he can give her an orgasm.)
Video – G Spot
If she wants to explore those pleasures, or she is willing to respond to a suggestion by her man that she might explore squirting and gushing, then so be it. Yet a woman does not need to do this: it’s her choice, and it’s entirely up to her, how she reaches orgasm, and indeed if they’re communicating well, showing her man the best way to give a woman an orgasm so he knows how to make her come.
The G Spot Mystery
A great video! Says it all!
(ps: Yoni = Vagina)
Let’s suppose a woman does want to explore G spot stimulation.
The G spot is an area inside the vagina which appears to be different in form to the rest of the internal structure of the vagina. One theory is that it’s made up of tissue, otherwise called the paraurethral sponge, which has distinct similarities to the prostatic tissue in men.
This tissue can produce a fluid, under sexual stimulation, which may squirt out of the urethra via the Skene’s glands.
The G Spot seems to be stimulated most easily from inside the vagina’s upper wall as a woman lies on her back. As she becomes aroused, an area of tissue about between 1 and 2 inches inside the vagina on the upper wall changes texture and shape – from something quite rough and ridged to something smooth and voluptuous – as her arousal increases.
Many women find stimulation of this area – which is the G spot – very pleasurable indeed, and they can come to orgasm this way even if their clitoris isn’t being stimulated.
Even for women who can’t reach orgasm in this way, stimulation of the G spot seems to make the clitoral orgasm even more intense than it otherwise would be.
So there’s undoubtedly something there: but the interesting thing is how some women report that when the G spot is stimulated they feel sensations which are unpleasant, a fact which has been interpreted by some spiritual sex experts over the years to mean that sexual trauma is stored in the G spot, and there is a need for a process of healing or “awakening” before a woman is able to reach orgasm easily through G spot stimulation.
Tantric sex therapy bears this out: it has demonstrated that stimulation of the G spot can produce all kinds of emotional release: crying, laughing, anger, fear, sadness guilt, shame – all of these emotions, and more, appear to be triggered by simulation of the G spot in a woman where this she is, for want of a better word, “closed”.
One idea is that every sexual trauma – which might include something as apparently insignificant as an act of agreed-upon but unwanted sexual intercourse – produces some kind of body memory which is stored somehow in an area which is accessed through the G spot.
For men who are new to this, stimulating the G spot in their woman for the first time can produce extraordinary emotional responses: it’s absolutely essential you don’t respond as if this is directed at you, particularly if your woman’s releasing anger, because she is releasing repressed emotions from the long ago past.
This process in some way “opens” the woman’s body up to the possibility of greater sexual pleasure than may be achieved through clitoral stimulation alone.
We know that the G spot is supplied by a different set of nerves to the clitoris, and it could therefore be that the stimulation of the G spot is activating a different nerve complex which feels different and indeed produces a different sexual experience for the woman.
From female orgasm facts: The vaginal orgasm involves both pudendal and pelvic nerves; the clitoral orgasm involves just the pudendal nerves (there’s more information on this aspect of sexual anatomy below).
Basically the clitoral nerve complex is supplied by the pelvic nerve, whereas the vaginal nerve supply comes from the pudendal nerve. These nerves have different functions and connect into different areas of the body, so they may well be responsible for the different quality of emotions that come from sexual stimulation of the various parts of a woman’s body.
If you’re a kind of curious type, you might be interested in finding out more and reading up on how to make a woman climax, but essentially, as long as you and your partner are finding satisfying ways to receive sexual pleasure and you’re doing it within your own sexual boundaries, and you’re enjoying orgasms on a regular basis, there’s no reason why you necessarily should want to explore these different aspects of female sexuality… at least, that’s what I say, but some people would maintain that reaching high levels of sexual pleasure is the only necessary justification for continuing exploration of your own body and its sexual potential.